Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
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