i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
