Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize