Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
