There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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