OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
And then the night went full on bisexual.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Randomize
