So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
