we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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