my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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