You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
She's not a foreskin expert like you
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
