I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
