If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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