Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Randomize
