My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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