found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
