Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize
