idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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