Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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