Got a toothbrush?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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