clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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