Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
