pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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