NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
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