that's an acceptable place to lick
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
