another moral hangover. fuck.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
