I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
