A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
