just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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