a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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