dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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