Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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