Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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