When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
