Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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