how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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