Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
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