DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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