Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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