Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
