oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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