Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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