Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize