His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
