he wants to bone in the snuggie
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
and she was petting her beer can
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
