he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?