Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.