I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
My penis needs a shock collar
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.