That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
