So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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