remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Randomize
