enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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