Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
