whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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