I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Randomize
