I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize