Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
