So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
