Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
