Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
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I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
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this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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