just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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