Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
COCAINE IS GR8
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
