I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
