This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Randomize
