Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
